Posts Tagged ‘Trauma’
How Does Psychotherapy Heal, Part II
Psychotherapy and Dependent Origination
The Buddhist theory of dependent origination states that all phenomena are contingent on antecedent conditions. The tree is contingent on the seed, the valley on the glacier and so forth.
This perspective is an extremely valuable lens through which to view the emotions experienced in psychotherapy. A patient responds to a remark of mine with a mixture of pain and anger. She has interpreted her therapist’s comment as a callous attempt to exclude her from his inner world.
The therapist knows from previous work with this patient that she had been severely abused by her father throughout her childhood. Her mother had been completely ineffectual at protecting her daughter from her husband’s rage. Neither parent had the slightest capacity or inclination to allow their daughter into their minds. Children will always try to see the parent as “good,” even at the cost of believing themselves to be “bad”. So, this little girl gradually developed a view of herself as deficient and unworthy.
In her psychotherapy, much work has been devoted to a reconstruction of her memories of this early life trauma. The terrifying effects of the physical abuse had been greatly compounded by her rage and panic due to her “solitary confinement”. She had lived her entire childhood utterly alone, despite the physical proximity of her parents.
Freud’s conception of therapeutics had a somewhat cognitive bent. Remembering the original trauma would afford the patient insight into his own woundedness. This insight would constitute the vital element that would enable the patient to heal.
Freud’s younger contemporaries, Sandor Ferenczi and Otto Rank, held a very different viewpoint. They believed that only a repetition of the original trauma within the psychotherapy relationship would have the power to heal the patient. They felt that only through repetition would the patient’s original memories be reactivated with sufficient force and feeling to break through the barrier of dissociation.
The aliveness of the feelings associated with early life trauma, reexperienced within the transference, allows these feelings to be revised and reworked within the context of a caring therapy relationship.
This healing is never a one time process. In the case of my patient, we repeatedly respond to each other in ways that leave her feeling hurt and excluded. Each time this occurs, we struggle together to delineate her process from my process. Each time, we view and review the relationship between the present and the past. As we do so, she has come to recognize that she does have access to my mind, and to my feelings. My positive regard for her is genuine and deep.
With each repetition, she emerges stronger and healthier. The perseverative reenactment of her original wounding, through the shadow play of the transference and the countertransference, engages a gradual but inexorable healing process. The critical difference between the past and the present is the outcome of the traumatic clash. In the here and now of the psychotherapy relationship, each repetition of the crisis resolves with enhanced mutual trust and deeper closeness between us.
In her parenting and in her work, this lady has become a beacon of hope and an agent of healing for others. Within her psychotherapy relationship, two wounded healers have been brought together for the purpose of mutual healing.
I would like to express my deep gratitude to my patient for graciously permitting me to make use of our work in the context of this essay. It is her intention to help to relieve the suffering of others through the sharing of her story.
Blog Talk Radio Show: The Shadow Side of Human Nature
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Dr. John Deri’s next Blog Talk Radio Show: Healthy Mind and Body will be on Wednesday, November 18, 2009 from 8-8:30 PM PDT.
The topic of the episode will be: The Shadow Side of Human Nature
“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.” (Carl Jung, Psychology and Religion, p.131).
All too often, we turn a blind eye to the shadow side of human nature. It is only with an enormous effort that we can acknowledge this side of ourselves. In the context of trauma, we invariably have to deal with a considerably intensified shadow. If such a person wants to be cured, it is necessary to find a way in which his conscious personality and his shadow can live together.
On Wednesday, November 18th at 8 PM PDT, Dr. John Deri will share with us:
➢ Why we turn a blind eye to our shadow side
➢ How we become aware of our shadow side
➢ How to integrate our shadow side
To listen to the show you can:
Dial the phone in telephone number at (347) 989-0560
OR
Tune in to our online channel at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Healthy-Mind-Body
How to Be Delivered to the Promised Land of Vibrant Life
The secret is to get out of your “Comfort Zone”. 
All human beings seek a balance in life between safety and novelty. Clinging to the known, the familiar, is to live within our comfort zone. Opening the door to new experiences requires a willingness to move beyond our comfort zone.
One of the reasons why people are hesitant to move out of their comfort zone is because of early life trauma. Trauma can cause chronic anxiety. This anxiety can inhibit our openness to new experiences. We cling to the known, the familiar, even if this means living in psychological pain. Compulsive repetition of routines can drain life of its sense of adventure. New adventures in your life will enhance your energy and lift your spirits.
Another reason why people are hesitant to move out of their comfort zone is because of fear of the unknown. This fear can cause us to raise the drawbridge, and to retreat within a “fortress self.” In the extreme, life can become a self-imposed sentence of solitary confinement.
To be delivered to the promised land of vibrant life, it is necessary to get out of your comfort zone. As T.S. Eliot wrote, in his poem East Coker:
In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.
How to Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
➢ If you are introverted, seek out the company of others.
➢ If you are extraverted, give yourself the gift of solitude.
➢ If you are active, dedicate some time to rest and reflection.
➢ If you are inactive, engage in some physical activities.
➢ Alter your routines. If you are an evening person, try getting up earlier in the morning (and vice versa).
Novelty literally “perks up” the brain. Sameness puts the brain into a state like “sleep” mode on your computer. Waking up and opening up to new experiences is to feel fully alive. Getting out of your comfort zone will free you from the bondage of repetition compulsion, and deliver you to the Promised Land of vibrant life.
Healing Occurs Through Relationship With Others
Trauma causes psychic wounding. The wounding takes the form of a two part complex. This complex is comprised of a two person template: the abuser and the abused. Both roles are stamped on the psyche of the survivor. This is the legacy of trauma.
This relational template of abuser and abused gets endlessly replayed throughout the life of the trauma survivor. He alternately plays the role of the abuser or the abused. The complementary role is projected onto his partner. For example, a patient of mine was habitually put out in the backyard, whenever he cried as an infant. In his adult life, he was perennially absent to his wife and children, due to workaholism and alcoholism. He unconsciously abandoned them, much as he himself had been abandoned.
Become conscious of the role that you play
In order to heal wounds, it is necessary for the survivor to become conscious of her potential for playing both roles: the abuser and the abused. This process of discovery unfolds within the psychotherapy relationship. The patient’s early life trauma is unconsciously reenacted and reexperienced in her mode of relating to the therapist. The therapist, over time, becomes conscious of the congruence of the dynamics of the therapy relationship with the structure of the patient’s original traumatic life experience. This awareness can gradually, tactfully be shared with the patient. The past comes to life through a vivid, emotionally charged experience in the present.
Healing can occur only when one becomes conscious of one’s own shadow side (the dark side of one’s personality). As Carl Jung wrote, “Enlightenment [or healing] occurs not through envisioning figures of light, but through making the darkness conscious.”
This process can occur only through relationship. Examine your current relationships from the vantage point of your early life experience. As George Santayana wrote, “Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it.” Try to discern the ways in which you are recreating and reliving the past in the present. “Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” (John 8:32).


