Posts Tagged ‘anxiety’
Overcoming Your Fears: Escape from Alcatraz
You can overcome the fears that may be holding you back from going where you wish to go. My experiences in training for a triathlon called Escape from Alcatraz may offer you some techniques for overcoming such fears.
Fear of open water swimming is common among triathletes. There are three kinds of anxiety that can manifest in this context:
1) Anxiety as a survival mechanism. Anxiety can serve to keep us out of potentially dangerous, life-threatening situations.
2) Performance anxiety. This is a frequent phenomenon, affecting all kinds of performance (e.g. musical, sexual, public speaking).
3) Separation anxiety. This is a universal, existential fear.
The Escape from Alcatraz triathlon is an iconic event. It consists of a 1.5 mile swim, from the island of Alcatraz to San Francisco, followed by a scenic bike ride and run. I have participated in this triathlon for each of the last ten years. In order to do so, I have had to overcome my own anxiety.
Swimming across San Francisco Bay is exhilarating, challenging and awesomely beautiful. Due to ever changing conditions (weather, fog, tides, currents), the swim is unique at each crossing. For the swim, 2,500 athletes are taken by boat to a position adjacent to Alcatraz. At the start of the swim, each swimmer jumps off the boat into the frigid waters of San Francisco Bay. At the beginning and end of the swim, one is surrounded by a large number of fellow swimmers. However, crossing the shipping channel between Alcatraz and San Francisco, the swimmers become separated. While there are, of course, numerous support craft surrounding the swimmers, there are nevertheless stretches during which one sees no one else in the water. These are the most psychologically trying times.
On the occasion of my first and second crossings, I made arrangements with an individual kayaker to serve as my personal escort for the swim. Neither attempt worked. It is impossible for a kayaker to identify and to follow one swimmer out of 2,500. In subsequent years, I simply entrusted my fate to a Higher Power.
Here are some of the techniques that have helped me to transform fear into exhilaration, and to achieve my goal. These techniques may help you to overcome your own fears, and to achieve your own goals.
1. Training
For years, I met weekly with an open water swimming coach. This experience offers two take away lessons. The first point is the importance of asking for help. The second aspect is a technique known as in vivo desensitization. This phrase refers to a process of entering into the anxious situation gradually, progressively, usually in the presence of a reassuring other person. Doing so leads to a gradual extinction of the anxiety response.
2. Positive self-talk
Take control of your mind through positive affirmations. Stop negative thoughts (e.g. there are probably sharks out there). Replace such thoughts with positive statements.
3. Visualization
This technique is not limited to the realm of athletics. Visualize yourself achieving your goal, stroke by stroke. Incorporate as many senses as possible, as you rehearse your calm, confident, successful pursuit of your goal.
4. Navigating
Navigating in the context of open water swimming involves sighting on landmarks. Metaphorically, we can use this technique in all situations. What are the landmarks you can use to assess your progress towards your goal? For the Alcatraz crossing, it is important both to focus on the finish line, as well as to cast the occasional glance back at Alcatraz. Doing so helps to verify that you are swimming in a straight line. In life as well, it is important to use where we have come from as a point of reference in staying on course to where we are going.
5. Controlling your breath
Anxiety leads to hyperventilation, which in turn heightens our anxiety. It is a very helpful practice to develop an awareness of our breath, and to take slow deep breaths.
6. Staying in the moment
All anxiety pivots on “what if’s.” Make it a continuous practice to stay firmly and completely present in this very moment. Doing so will steady your nerves and strengthen your resolve.
7. Embodiment
Stay in your body. Maintain continuous awareness of your bodily sensations. This practice will keep you grounded in the physicality of your being. In the Bay, the body is a sensitive instrument for providing information regarding moment to moment shifts in tides and currents. So too in life.
8. Staying focused on your goal
This focus will block your anxiety response. In the Bay, I maintain an intense fire burning within me to reach my destination. This liberates me from doubt and fear.
9. Faith in a Higher Power
Like getting on an airplane, jumping off a boat in the middle of San Francisco Bay is an act of surrendering the ego to a Higher Power. As in Alcoholics Anonymous, and many other spiritual traditions, this surrender, if whole hearted and complete, engenders inner peace.
For me, Escaping from Alcatraz is a metaphor for liberation from the shackles of past fears. Like in the Book of Exodus, following this path will liberate you from the Land of Pharaoh, and deliver you to the Promised Land.
Blog Talk Radio: How To Identify and To Deal with Emotional Trauma
Dr. John Deri’s next Blog Talk Radio Show: Healthy Mind and Body will be on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 from 8-9:00 PM Pacific Time
The topic of the episode will be: How To Identify And To Deal With Emotional Trauma
Emotional trauma can impact and alter all aspects of your life. Trauma tends to constrict our patterns of behavior and ways of being in the world. How a person manifests the effects of emotional trauma varies widely. The same trauma can produce very different effects from person to person.
When you learn how to identify and to deal with emotional trauma, you will be able to form better relationships. Healing the wounds of trauma will help you to overcome addictions, panic attacks, depression and anxiety.
Dr. Deri will share with us:
➢ The definition and causes of emotional trauma
➢ The emotional effects of trauma
➢ The physical impact of trauma
➢ How to heal from trauma
To listen to the show you can:
1. Dial the phone in telephone number at (347) 989-0560
OR
2. Tune in to our online channel at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Healthy-Mind-Body
Blog Talk Radio Show: How to Cope With the Stress of Unemployment
Dr. John Deri’s next Blog Talk Radio Show: Healthy Mind and Body will be on Wednesday, March 17, 2010 from 8-9:00 PM PDT.
The topic of the episode will be: How to Cope with the Stress of Unemployment
Unemployed people tend to withdraw from others – social isolation results in depression and anxiety. Unemployment is not simply experienced as an adverse outcome of a weakened economy, but rather is felt to be a sign of personal inadequacy. Shame is a further complicating factor. It tends to cause a person to hide from others. Social withdrawal compounds the stress of unemployment, resulting in worsening depression and anxiety. A downward spiral happens: progressive loss of energy and demoralization can develop into near total paralysis.
During the show Dr. Deri will share how the following steps can help you to cope with the stress of unemployment:
➢ Maintain your social life
➢ Schedule your time wisely
➢ Be flexible – relax your grip on your “identity”
➢ Deepen your spiritual life
➢ Ask for help if you need it
To listen to the show you can:
1. Dial the phone in telephone number at (347) 989-0560
OR
2. Tune in to our online channel at http://tinyurl.com/DrJohnDeriBlogTalkRadioShow
Blog Talk Radio Show: How to Stay Calm in an Age of Anxiety
Dr. John Deri’s next Blog Talk Radio Show: Healthy Mind and Body will be on Wednesday, February 24, 2010 from 8-9:00 PM PDT.
The topic will be: How to Stay Calm in an Age of Anxiety. It will be a rerun of a recorded episode.
We are currently living in the midst of an age of anxiety. Economic uncertainty is high. Change and dislocation are rampant. Anxiety is a natural human response to these conditions.
During the show Dr. Deri will share:
- Why “healthy anxiety” can help you to move forward in your life
- How to identify when anxiety overwhelms and paralyzes us
- The long term mental and physical consequences of anxiety and stress
- Five steps to implement that will help you to reduce anxiety and reach peace and calmness. Spiritual dimensions of overcoming anxiety will be highlighted.
To listen to the show you can:
1. Dial the phone in telephone number at (347) 989-0560
OR
2. Tune in to our online channel at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Healthy-Mind-Body
Panic Disorder: The Absent Self
Panic disorder is a terrifying, potentially disabling condition. In my experience, it is a specific form of separation anxiety: separation from the self.
Richard was a 39 year old married man living with his wife and their two young children. He was a self employed businessman. He presented with an acute onset of panic attacks. These episodes had been occurring with increasing frequency, during the weeks prior to our first session.
Richard and I worked together in twice a week psychotherapy for a period of four years. His symptoms of panic disorder were relieved by high doses of antidepressant medication, during most of this time.
Early Life
Richard’s early life experience was powerfully influenced by his distant, critical, cynical father. The father, a successful professional, was rarely at home. Richard’s mother was comparatively more available to him. However, she was primarily focused on her husband. Moreover, she was largely preoccupied with her own painful feelings of isolation. As a result, Richard was on his own emotionally.
Polysubstance Abuse
Like Sophia in my previous blog posting, Richard turned to alcohol as a young man. He used alcohol as a way of deadening and escaping from his psychic pain. Some years later, he began regularly using cocaine.
When I met Richard, he was drinking 6-9 drinks per day, as well as the occasional bottle of wine. Despite this clearcut pattern of alcohol abuse and dependence, Richard was in complete denial about his alcoholism.
Themes in Therapy
The primary theme in Richard’s therapy was to draw his attention to his repetition compulsion. He abandoned his family and himself much as he had been abandoned. A recurring memory wove like a thread throughout the therapeutic work. Richard had been put out in the back yard whenever he had cried as an infant.
A key dream, to which we often returned, consisted of a brief exchange between Richard and his mother. In the dream, Richard told his mother, “I’m in pain.” To which she replied, “I’m in pain, too.” In other words, Richard was entirely excluded from his parents’ minds.
As a young unemployed adult, Richard literally went hungry. His wealthy parents withheld financial support.
As a mature adult, Richard abandoned his own family, through alcoholism and workaholism. He was absent to himself as well. He would often work for long stretches, without eating or sleeping. He was entirely out of touch with his emotional states. Alcohol and work were his psychic refuges of unconsciousness.
The Therapeutic Work
The initial therapeutic task was building Richard’s capacity for mindfulness regarding his own self states. This work began with developing his attention and appropriate responsiveness to basic bodily sensations, e.g. eating when hungry. This process of growing self awareness then extended to his emotional states. During the early phases of our work, Richard would compulsively play video games, when he was neither drunk nor working. Gradually, he learned to make space for his own psychic experience. He developed an increasing repertoire of healthy activities in synch with his emotional states.
The next major hurdle in therapy was overcoming Richard’s denial of his addictions. To put it briefly, this achievement was won as a result of a two year long intrapsychic and interpersonal tug-of-war. Once Richard joined AA and CA, our therapeutic work truly blossomed. The step work and the psychotherapy were mutually synergistic.
Within the context of the fourth step (“performing a searching and fearless moral inventory”), it became possible to draw Richard’s attention to his abandonment of his family. This was an extraordinarily painful phase of the work.
Another key component in Richard’s healing process involved helping him to recognize and to neutralize his own inner critic. This voice was a direct internalization of his critical father.
Finally, through a combination of the psychotherapy and the twelve step programs, Richard overcame his narcissism. He developed a genuine, growing capacity for concern for others. This transformation in his character was deeply moving for both of us. Our own relationship with each other was immeasurably enriched accordingly.
Outcome
Richard became clean and sober. His panic attacks resolved, off all medication.
His marriage dissolved. His business went bankrupt. His life, as he had known it, came crashing down around him.
Yet, paradoxically, Richard was happier and more grounded than he had ever been in his life. He had a greatly enhanced capacity for intimacy.
Once again, we encounter the archetype of death and rebirth: the phoenix rising from the ashes.
When I called Richard to request his permission to tell his story, he readily assented. “I tell my story all the time in the [12 step] meetings,” he said. “And, guess what? I’ve just celebrated my fifth year of sobriety.”
When I ponder the question of the meaning of life, I no longer have to search for an answer.
Blog Talk Radio Show: The Shadow Side of Human Nature
Dr. John Deri’s next Blog Talk Radio Show: Healthy Mind and Body will be on Wednesday, November 18, 2009 from 8-8:30 PM PDT.
The topic of the episode will be: The Shadow Side of Human Nature
“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.” (Carl Jung, Psychology and Religion, p.131).
All too often, we turn a blind eye to the shadow side of human nature. It is only with an enormous effort that we can acknowledge this side of ourselves. In the context of trauma, we invariably have to deal with a considerably intensified shadow. If such a person wants to be cured, it is necessary to find a way in which his conscious personality and his shadow can live together.
On Wednesday, November 18th at 8 PM PDT, Dr. John Deri will share with us:
➢ Why we turn a blind eye to our shadow side
➢ How we become aware of our shadow side
➢ How to integrate our shadow side
To listen to the show you can:
Dial the phone in telephone number at (347) 989-0560
OR
Tune in to our online channel at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Healthy-Mind-Body
Blog Talk Radio Show: How To Identify And To Deal With Emotional Trauma
Dr. John Deri’s next Blog Talk Radio Show: Healthy Mind and Body will be on Wednesday, November 11, 2009 from 8-8:30 PM PST.
The topic of the episode will be: How To Identify And To Deal With Emotional Trauma
Emotional trauma can impact and alter all aspects of your life. Trauma tends to constrict our patterns of behavior and ways of being in the world. How a person manifests the effects of emotional trauma varies widely. The same trauma can produce very different effects from person to person.
When you learn how to identify and to deal with emotional trauma, you will be able to form better relationships. Healing the wounds of trauma will help you to overcome addictions, panic attacks, depression and anxiety.
Dr. Deri will share with us:
➢ The definition and causes of emotional trauma
➢ The emotional effects of trauma
➢ The physical impact of trauma
➢ How to heal from trauma
To listen to the show you can:
1. Dial the phone in telephone number at (347) 989-0560
OR
2. Tune in to our online channel at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Healthy-Mind-Body
Blog Talk Radio Show: Healthy Mind and Body
I would like to announce the creation of a new Blog Talk Radio Show: Healthy Mind and Body. The programs will cover all aspects of life, from health and spirituality to relationships and finance. There will be a particular focus on the healing process, as it relates to depression, anxiety and recovery from trauma. Please tune in to the Healthy Mind and Body Radio Show, every Wednesday at 8 PM PST, starting on 10/21/09.
The topic of the initial episode will be: How to Stay Calm in an Age of Anxiety.
Join me on Wednesday, October 21, 2009 at 8 PM PST and learn:
➢ Why “healthy anxiety” can help you to move forward in your life
➢ How to identify when anxiety overwhelms and paralyzes us
➢ The long term mental and physical consequences of anxiety and stress
➢ Six steps to implement that will help you to reduce anxiety
➢ Spiritual dimensions of overcoming anxiety will be highlighted
For more information, including a phone in telephone number, please visit http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Healthy-Mind-Body
Vacations Are Essential to Mental Health
When I was 15 years old, I had the opportunity to accompany a group of psychologists on a trip to the Soviet Union. Our group was given a behind the scenes tour of the Soviet mental health system. The first intervention that was offered to a stressed out worker was a two week vacation at a resort on the Black Sea. As a teenager, this “prescription” struck me as somewhat primitive. I have come to appreciate its wisdom.
No matter how much we might love our work, a periodic change of pace, and change of scene, are crucial for maintaining our psychic equilibrium. The human nervous system habituates to sameness. Both behaviorally and neurophysiologically, we get stuck in a rut. We cease to remain fully awake and alert. We begin to “go through the motions” of living. In the extreme, life can begin to feel “stale, flat and unprofitable,” in Hamlet’s words.
Christopher Bollas, an American psychoanalyst with a PhD in English literature, writes that a particular experience “sponsors” a specific state of mind, or “self state.” Thus, if we perpetually repeat the same routine day after day, for months at a time, we drastically circumscribe the experience of who we are. There is a tendency for us to think the same thoughts, and to feel the same feelings. This circumscription can lead not only to boredom with our lives, but as well with whom we are.
Vacations are the portal for new experiences, of the world and of ourselves. Among the many wonderful benefits that we can experience when we are on vacation
- Leaving the world of work for a time allows us to relax.
- Our body and mind uncoil themselves.
- We breathe more deeply.
- Mental focus expands.
- We think new thoughts, we perceive new possibilities.
- Vacations often provide the opportunity for inspirations that transform our lives in myriad ways.
Vacations are strongly associated with childhood memories. Most of us had more regular, more frequent and longer vacations as children than we do as adults. Vacations can allow us to contact our “inner child.” We become so used to suppressing this dimension of ourselves in the service of functioning as “mature adults.” How sad, what a huge loss, if maturity comes to preclude the qualities of playfulness and fun that make life an adventure. Cultivate a relationship with your inner child. Ask him or her what s/he would most enjoy doing. When your child and your adult selves are living life in dialogue with one another, you will feel continually refreshed and fully alive. On vacation, past and present can commingle, giving rise to new visions for the future.
For those of us who live in urban areas, vacations can offer a time to return to nature. The infinite sensory experiences of nature, e.g. the scent of pine trees after rain, are the best tonic for depression and anxiety. Opening up to nature promotes an expansive self state, in which we somehow feel closer, or indeed one with, the realm of spirit.
In this era of economic uncertainty and anxiety, it is all too easy to cut out all vacation spending as one means of saving money. Remember the words of Wordsworth:
The world is too much with us…
Getting and spending we lay waste our powers…
Penny wise, and pound foolish. If we are not mindful, we can end up killing the golden goose: namely, ourselves.
How to Be Delivered to the Promised Land of Vibrant Life
The secret is to get out of your “Comfort Zone”. 
All human beings seek a balance in life between safety and novelty. Clinging to the known, the familiar, is to live within our comfort zone. Opening the door to new experiences requires a willingness to move beyond our comfort zone.
One of the reasons why people are hesitant to move out of their comfort zone is because of early life trauma. Trauma can cause chronic anxiety. This anxiety can inhibit our openness to new experiences. We cling to the known, the familiar, even if this means living in psychological pain. Compulsive repetition of routines can drain life of its sense of adventure. New adventures in your life will enhance your energy and lift your spirits.
Another reason why people are hesitant to move out of their comfort zone is because of fear of the unknown. This fear can cause us to raise the drawbridge, and to retreat within a “fortress self.” In the extreme, life can become a self-imposed sentence of solitary confinement.
To be delivered to the promised land of vibrant life, it is necessary to get out of your comfort zone. As T.S. Eliot wrote, in his poem East Coker:
In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.
How to Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
➢ If you are introverted, seek out the company of others.
➢ If you are extraverted, give yourself the gift of solitude.
➢ If you are active, dedicate some time to rest and reflection.
➢ If you are inactive, engage in some physical activities.
➢ Alter your routines. If you are an evening person, try getting up earlier in the morning (and vice versa).
Novelty literally “perks up” the brain. Sameness puts the brain into a state like “sleep” mode on your computer. Waking up and opening up to new experiences is to feel fully alive. Getting out of your comfort zone will free you from the bondage of repetition compulsion, and deliver you to the Promised Land of vibrant life.